The image is taken from supernaturalmagazine.com
The
moon rose
high, a white
pearl against the
black sky studded with
diamond stars. A ship sailed
on the dark waters, swaying,
dancing as the wind blew against
the pale sails. When the tide rose higher
the captain tried to hold on to the helm.
He fought the forces, risking his own life
to save the others, so blissfully
unaware of the rolling mist.
The fog swirled around, a sheet
of white draping itself
across the vast space,
to envelop
the lone ship
in its
arms.
The poem is written in Double Etheree style. (syllables 1-10 10-1)
Some really lovely imagery here, and a dreamy sort of tone. I also kind of like how the poem itself, visually, looks like a wave. :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Christine.
DeleteIt was my first attempt in this style.
There is a very strong story here. I loved the personification of the fog at the end. I notice some of the lines are missing syllables (if the syllable count of a double etheree is supposed to increase one at a time). Check lines 7 and 12.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Nate.
DeleteI added an extra in 7th line and missed one in 12th. Thank you for pointing it out. I will edit the post. :)
Update: Edited. :)
DeleteI loved the imagery and the repetition of white through the moon, sail and fog. The form of the poem worked so well as the shape of a sail.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Margaret. :)
Delete